Act Your Age - Maybe I Don’t Wanna

The phrase “act your age” is one of the most annoying pieces of unsolicited advice ever invented, especially if given to adults or to me. Yet, I hear it much too often. Of course, maybe it’s just me. Nowadays, my 86-year-old Mom just shakes her head, smiles, and mutters apologetically, “he’s just a big kid.” But what does “act your age” even mean? Sit quietly? Watch the news? Don’t jump up and down joyfully because we might strain something”? Pfft. No, thanks. Play is for everyone, not just toddlers and over-caffeinated labradoodles. Yet, as we age, society whispers (sometimes shouts): “Grow up already! Be serious.” But what if I don’t want to?

The truth is that playing isn’t just for kids or people pretending to be kids. It’s the secret to vibrant life, sharp brains, and soaring spirits - an energy trapped within - that needs to be released. Yes, I admit that swinging to almost perpendicular on a tree swing does elicit a “weeeeee” that might sound just a bit too high-pitched for a 59-year-old guy, but it does capture this essence. Need proof? The National Institute on Aging says engaging in arts and creative activities helps reduce stress, enhance cognition, and even stave off dementia. For me, playing isn’t frivolous; it’s a survival strategy. And I embrace it unapologetically. I try to incorporate it into everything I do, if I can - sometimes to the dismay of my family. Yes, that chopping knife can become a sword that will cleave the zucchini. With a forceful, “hiiiii-yaaa!”

But here’s the challenge: playing as an adult, especially a grown-up adult, isn’t always easy. Why? Because there’s this unspoken societal rule that says once you hit a certain age, you should trade your Legos for liability insurance and fingerpaints for self-rising furniture. Anything playful or whimsical gets labeled as “eccentric” or worse—childish. Why the double standard? Kids run around pretending to be dinosaurs, and everyone claps. I run around and climb a few trees pretending to be a monkey, and the neighbors get ready to call the fire department. Not fair.

The "Adult" Trap

It doesn’t help that the world of adulthood is designed to drain the playfulness right out of you. Bills to pay leaves to rake (now we use leaf blowers, of course), warranties to argue about—it’s like a full-time job staying boring. Heaven forbid you pretend to be an elephant when blowing the leaves into a pile, and then jump into the pile afterwards. If we carve out time for something fun, we second-guess it. “Should I take that pottery class? What if I’m terrible?” Newsflash: being terrible is half the fun. Play isn’t about being good at something; it’s about getting messy, laughing, and forgetting that the world expects you to have it all together.

And then there’s the social stigma. People roll their eyes when you do some improv comedy at their dinner party, join a weekly game night, or decide to skateboard down your street. “Aren’t you too old for that?” they ask as if the fun expires. “Let me get urgent care on the line, just in case.” But you know who doesn’t get those stares? Artists. Why? Because society gives them a free pass to be weird. And here in Santa Cruz the slogan “Keep Santa Cruz Weird” is what it’s all about. So, call yourself an “artistic tinkerer” (which, for the record, is exactly what I do), and suddenly, your tendency to color outside the lines is seen as “creative, even inspirational.” Everyone else gets the “midlife crisis” label. But let me tell you, it’s much more fun to throw gallons of paint at a canvas (and cheaper) versus getting a car loan for that new Porsche.

Why Play Matters More Than Ever

OK, on a more serious note, life often gets heavy. Responsibilities pile up, friends move away, family members pass, and our bodies offer unsolicited and unexpected feedback at the worst times. Play is how we shake that off. It’s a rebellion against the grind, a reminder that life isn’t just about crossing items off a to-do list.

Play is also how we connect. Dr. Stuart Brown, author of Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, points out that play is essential for building empathy and fostering relationships. That irreverent board game night? The evening with your 55+ friends, you act like teenagers with goofy, inappropriate jokes, and your actual teenagers roll their eyes and escape into the other room as fast as possible. It’s not just fun; it’s therapy with snacks.

So, how do we make play happen when everything in us screams, “I don’t want to look stupid, or I don’t have time”? Start small—Tinker with something in the house or yard. Paint something a funky color. Test your comedy phrases with friends if you dare. Let yourself imagine and dream up ideas no matter how whacky. If anyone questions you, tell them it’s for your mental health and dare them to argue. That is why whenever my best high school friend is in town, we naturally become Hans and Frans of Saturday Night Live, “We are here to puuuump you up,” spoken with a perfect German accent. The dialogue often continues for minutes until our wives chime in with their versions, and then it “well doesn’t work anymore.”

A Call to Un-Boring Arms

Here’s my challenge: the next time someone tells you to “act your age” or something similar, respond with, “No thanks, I’m busy finger painting my masterpiece.” Reclaim your inner playful self, no matter how rusty it might have become. The world is severe enough without you adding to the pile.

And for those of us lucky or crazy enough to say we are wannabe artists, let’s keep leading the way. Keep tinkering, exploring, and proving that it’s not only okay to play—it’s essential. Because if we don’t, who will remind the world that life’s most beautiful moments are often the silliest?

So, let’s agree to ditch the grown-up act and bring back the magic of play. Are you in? That's good. “Now pass me the glue gun, Hans, and let’s start glittering those pumpkins for Thanksgiving.” “Ok, Frans.”